You Bleed, We Speed

Unit 299, go mobile, to 24 stupid street for a 70 yo male with fall. Injury to a dangerous body area, possibly hip. Breathing abnormal. Code 1.

Lights on. Sirens on. Go....

Weave between lines of traffic. Cycle through your sirens to help people hear you coming. Creep through red lights. Worry about the poor man lying on the ground in pain, while you struggle to move through the dense traffic that forgets that they should **Move to the right and STOP* when an emergency vehicle is approaching from *either* direction**. Arrive. Note the elderly gentleman standing at the curb smiling in glee at the flashing lights. Smile.

Climb out of ambulance only to realize that the elderly gentleman has just climbed in the back. An elderly man who is breathing and moving normally and who climbed up into your ambulance without assistance and without difficulty.

"Hey! Can I help you there, Sir?"

"Yep. You can take me to the hospital. I fell and broke my hip a couple years ago and it still hurts when it is going to rain. Hurry now! (*clap clap*) If we take too long I'll be late getting home and will miss the news!"

Smile again reflexively while you resist the urge to break both his hips with your portable O2 tank. Secure the patient's seat belt. Climb back in the cab. Shut off the lights.

S l o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o w l y pull back into the rush hour traffic. Drive with extreme caution and decreased speed to the local facility. After all, you wouldn't want to hit bumps and make his pain worse, now, would you....

Shake it Like a Polaroid Picture

An elderly lady arrived by ambulance to our emergency department for assessment after an MVC (motor vehicle collision).

On arrival we noted that she had extensive (and I mean *EXTENSIVE*) psoriasis. Head to toe she was covered in huge dry patches of flaking skin. There was no visible inch of her skin (including her face, torso and extremities) that was not affected.

During report the medics listed the psoriasis as one of her past medical conditions, and then commented:

"I know you think that her skin is bad now, but you really have no idea. When we opened the door to her car it was like someone shook up a snow globe!"

In Memoriam

Manny Grewal

04 February 1971 - 24 February 2009

Our heads are hanging low
And our hearts at half mast
Ever since the day
They took you with it when it passed

Ashes to ashes
And dust to dust
We let go
Because we must

And where does it
Take you when it goes?
No one really knows, it's
Anybody's guess

Some folks say
It's where the wind blows, and
Where the sea flows
And the sun sets

But here we go
On with the livin'
And try to match the love we give
With the love that we've been given

Ashes to ashes
And dust to dust
We let go
Because we must

And days pass
And nights continue to fall
Time moves ahead with it
Like nothing at all

But at some turn
We reach the final page
When we die too young, or
Of old age

Ashes to ashes
And dust to dust
We let go
Because we must

(Ashes to Ashes ~ Jill Barber)

Great Ad

I love it. Makes me laugh every time!

Not that drunk, eh?

It was a busy night and we ran from call to call to call with nary a minute to eat or visit facilities. Finally the tones slowed and it looked like we might have a minute to breathe when we got called out again... another trip to the cells booking area to assess more of the nights inebriated young souls prior to their entry to the drunk tank.

Our patient was found with his head and shoulders deep in the garbage can provided to him by our local constabulary. He was moaning and puking with great abandon, totally ignoring the questions of the medics when an officer exits the cells and states to her coworkers "now that crack whore has stripped off her pants and her thong and has thrown them out of the cell. She is standing there in just her bra shouting that she is going to kill us with her coochie!"

Suddenly our fine young citizen pulls his head out of the garbage can, vomit dripping from his face, and states "Awesome! Can I see that?!"